“You’re just shielding the abuse from the children, but the children still see it and that’s one thing that I would like to tell people out there. “If your life is in danger that can’t be your first that might be what’s holding you back because you care about the safety and welfare and well-being of your children, but how safe are you if you stay and try to work all those things out and usually you’re not necessarily working those things out,” said Lowery. Lowery says she often sees that getting out is a life or death decision and there is not always time to plan ahead. But if you don’t have time to get the original at least have a copy to get started,” Lowery explains.īut if you can’t get the paperwork in order, don’t let that hold you back. “When you get ready to apply for government assistance or any type of assistance, you’ll have that information handy your social security number your kid’s social security numbers. It’s OK to wait until after you leave to apply. You will need those documents to apply for assistance. Lowery says: “Take it to a friend’s house or that place where you feel safe and then when you’re ready to leave have a safe word like pineapple or oranges, so when you call that person and say, ‘Hey pineapple’ that person can come down the street and meet you, leave when the person is not there and you can you have all the stuff that you need.” If you can have access to your financial records, you could put those in a bag.”ĭo not leave the documents at home where the abuser can see them. “If you have children, you know, make a copy of those and then put them somewhere safe then get you like an overnight bag or spend the night bag and put clothes in there do not leave though in any financial statements. Lowery says you will need to get copies of identification items, like passports and birth certificates. Now, we learn more about what someone needs to do to prepare legal and other documents before an escape.

How abusers use money and finances to keep control

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